“You know what I think?” said my writing coach after listening to me ramble on about my frustrations with my book, “You’re like a washing machine going around and around with the door open.”
Yikes. Some might get offended by this statement, heck, maybe even give up writing, but my writing coach was right. She called me out on my tendency to get stuck on a spin cycle of overthinking my writing versus actually writing.
“Just write Jennifer. Get the words on the page. You can go back later and review. Your book won’t write itself.” She spoke from experience, having published several books. My coach also recognized I was stuck and worked with me to overcome my fears and inertia so I could keep on writing.
My writer’s journey began with pure inspiration and altruism. I wanted to share my story about recovery from bulimia, an addiction I was a prisoner of for twenty-five years. The very thought of helping someone quit their eating disorder, and experience the new freedom I felt, was all the motivation I needed. Over the next few months, while working two jobs, I wrote the outline of my book and several essays. I also read memoirs, autobiographies, and self-help books. So I had a decent sense of what a good story needed, but I had no idea how to structure an entire book or, better yet, finish it.
The power of mentorship wasn’t new to me, but I didn’t think I was far enough along in my writer’s journey to warrant a mentor. What did I have to show? A rough outline and a few essays? I procrastinated, and a year later, still stumbling around in rewrites, half-writes, and a boatload of self-doubt, I googled “writing coaches near me.”
The benefits of working with a writing coach or a mentor are many. They can help you get unstuck and recognize and overcome your fears and insecurities. They can work with you to find your writer’s voice, show you where you need to dig deeper emotionally and finesse language, scenes, and characters.
But before you hire one, you need to be prepared. What are your intentions?
Not every style of mentorship is well suited to every set of needs. You need to identify what works for you and the areas you need the most help with. Is it motivation, structure, accountability, or all of the above? Dig deeper. What type of motivation works for you? What kind of structure are you after? Think about what kind of writer you are or want to become. How accountable are you? What do you need from your coach to accomplish your writing goals? Do you need a cheerleader or a good kick in the butt? What’s your endgame? Do you want to finish a book project or get one started? How long do you want the relationship to last, and what is your budget? Knowing the answers to these questions before hiring a coach will help you get the most out of the relationship.
There are also many different types of coaches, and your needs from your coach might evolve. Mine sure did. My initial goal was to become a better writer, so I chose a coach with an academic background and who had published several books. I also wanted to work with someone who had an empathetic connection to my work—someone who deeply understood my motivation to write. It was important that she’d read some of the books that inspired me.
My coach used a non-critical approach and was less structure-based, preferring an intuitive method of writing. She pushed me to go deeper and messier. Making sure I didn’t leave important scenes out of my book simply because they were too difficult to write. As my writing progressed, I shared a few essays with select friends. They cautioned me against continuing. This is way too dark. What if your parents read your book or your employers? Won’t you be ashamed? I don’t get why you need to write about bulimia. Questions and comments my writing coach dismissed.
“What you’re writing is important Jennifer. Thanks for having the courage to write your story.” She had my back and my trust in her grew.
After two years of working together, she retired. Though I was sad at first, her retirement gave me the opportunity to work with someone new. I chose a different style of coaching this time, and the success of our relationship is because of my clear intentions. It was time to finish my book, and I knew what it lacked. My new coach helped me define my book’s structure. She’s also one heck of a cheerleader, which is what I need right now. Her energy and enthusiasm will see me to the finish line.
Writing is primarily a solo journey, but we don’t have to go it alone. Because when we get lost and trust me, we do, it’s a relief to know we can talk to someone who’s been there before. A good mentor won’t hand you a map with the book’s key points all nicely laid out because this is your journey, not theirs, but they’ll support you while you overcome your obstacles. You learn along the way, and this will make you become a better writer.
When I look at the original outline of my book now, I laugh out loud. It’s rudimentary and rough—but it was a start. Every story begins somewhere, and a good mentor or coach is a valuable ally in the writer’s journey.