ejknapp

(they/them) Queer/NBi/Neurodivergent/Colorado-based writer and comedian. Ski junkie and soup enthusiast. Their stuff can be found on emilyknappwriter.com.

Denver, CO, United States

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Selected work (15 publications)

McSweeney's Internet Tendency, 2023

Honest Office Haiku For The Impending Recession“We Need to Synch Our Agile Framework with Our Projected Workflow” Okay, listen up. I don’t know what you just said. Am I getting axed? --- “We’re a Family” Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up please shut the fuck up.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency, 2023

Honest Haikus For Women“I Can’t Find It” Did you look for it? Did you really look for it? Did you even try? --- “Don’t You Want to Have Kids Someday?” And wreck my body, my finances, and my life? No thank you, Susan.

The Belladonna, 2022

Other Things That Should Be Struck Down Instead of Student Loan Forgiveness8. Charging for alternative milks 9. Working at that job that is not only underpaying you, but also making you come into the office three days a week so you can sit in a cubicle alone and take all your meetings over Zoom while your VP works remotely

The Belladonna, 2022

The Seven Stages of Accepting Your Spotify Wrapped ResultsHow did I listen to so much Taylor Swift? Why was I mainlining Red (Taylor’s Version) when I could have been listening to her 2006 eponymous classic, and audio treatise on the fleeting nature of adolescence, Taylor Swift?

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